


Loosely Translated

by faithinthepoor



Series: Murder in Suburbia [1]
Category: Murder in Suburbia (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-08
Updated: 2013-01-08
Packaged: 2017-11-24 03:52:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/630087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faithinthepoor/pseuds/faithinthepoor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set during The Wedding</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loosely Translated

“I’m seldom taken in by anything”

“Translation - I’m a suspect too.” Millicent Goodman’s words aren’t exactly anything profound and yet for some reason the impact that they have on her is extreme. Millicent doesn’t need her to explain her statement but then Millicent is part of the world that she comes from, a living example of the things that she was raised to revere and attempt to emulate. She watches as Mrs Goodman packs slices of wedding cake into mass produced boxes that have been personalised with photos of the David and Nuala and while she admires her work ethnic she finds the gesture to be in slightly bad taste. Ash accepts the offer of cake, after all it would be improper not to, but tries not to think about the fact that it is associated with a wedding.

Weddings have always made her uncomfortable. Well not always, as a child she was mesmerised by the wonder and splendour but that faded with the years and she now has an aversion to them that borders on a phobia. They are meant to be a celebration of love and a symbol of commitment but they seem more like an ostentatious display of wealth or a foolhardy attempt to keep up with the Jones’. Maybe that has become the point of them, maybe in an era of escalating divorce rates it is an incentive to stay together if you know that you could have easily made a deposit on your dream house with the money that you spent on your wedding. They are definitely a pitfall and one that she intends to avoid, hence the many lists she has come to develop with regard to them.

Lately the idea of weddings has made her more uncomfortable than ever, partly because she is of an age where the invitations are declining in number as everyone has already partnered off, meaning that when she does attend a wedding she is bombarded with questions about when she is finally going to find herself a man and have a wedding of her own. It annoys her to think that she is somehow a less worthy human being than someone with a ring on their finger is but that is not her only problem with weddings nowadays. Her main dilemma in the area of the matrimonial comes in the form of Scribbs. The idea of Scribbs and weddings makes her decidedly uneasy. She has painstakingly taught Scribbs all of the important rules about weddings in the hope that Scribbs might take at least a few of them to heart.

She doesn’t like the idea of Scribbs being single at a wedding and desperate to score a shag from whatever eligible male that happens to show interest. In Scribbs’ case eligibility isn’t really high on the selection criteria, in fact the only criteria seems to be that the guy is there and up for it. Scribbs could afford to be a lot more discerning because when it comes to DS Scribbs pretty much any guy with a pulse would be up for it. Ash has recent first hand knowledge of how appealing Emma can be; sure Jason Parker was a conman who was going to try and drug Scribbs and then steal from her but he still seemed to enjoy getting naked for her. For her part Scribbs seemed to be pleased with the fact that she got him to undress and she seemed especially pleased to have Ash witness the event.

Ash would rather die than have someone watch her in that situation, even if it was an undercover operation. Emma’s blatant enjoyment of the moment just serves as evidence that Scribbs is from a completely different world to Ash and to Millicent Goodman. Scribbs would need her to translate and just as Scribbs doesn’t speak Ash, Ash doesn’t speak Scribbs. If she could speak Scribbs maybe she would have a better understanding of the events of that night, would know if it was just wishful thinking or if Scribbs really was flirting with her when she smiled coyly and held up her handcuffs.

For the sake of her sanity she is grateful that the two of them speak a different language because at least this way Scribbs doesn’t realise that, “When he asked you to choose between the whipped cream and the chocolate I actually held my breath,” was a literal statement. This way she can play it off as a joke and not have Scribbs know that the thought of her engaging in such acts with this guy had Ash’s heart beating so hard that she feared the pressure in her body would rupture her ear drums. 

Scribbs doesn’t need to know that when she prattles on about her wedding plans Ash can’t help but picture the two of them being married. This is yet another point on the list of reasons that weddings make her uncomfortable. She means it when she tells Scribbs that, “Marriage is when we admit that our parents are right Scribbs, never ever forget that.” For her marriage would mean admitting that it is right to want a man, right to want a family, right not to think about spending the rest of your life with your female colleague. They are all values that she holds to be true but her feelings for Scribbs show absolutely no respect for those beliefs and are capable of overriding her self control. 

She has never believed that opposites attract, has always rejected that hypothesis as ludicrous. The notion that she could be interested in someone who considers their refrigerator to be stocked if it has beer and left over takeaway in it is something that she still finds very difficult to accept. She should be attracted to someone that she is compatible with, someone who thinks that, “In my experience most weddings could do with a good murder,” but as much she tries to be interested in him the attention that she pays Sullivan was only ever designed to make Scribbs think twice before taking a run at him. To that end it seems to have had some effect, even if it hasn’t managed to completely prevent Scribbs from flirting with him. Scribbs occasionally shooting suggestive comments at their boss is a small problem compared with having to deal with the way she feels when Scribbs touches her in a causal exchange, something that Scribbs has taken to doing more and more often lately. When Emma touches her it is difficult for her to focus on her work, it is difficult for her to talk, it is difficult for her to remember to breathe and she is not sure how long she can continue to be partners with this woman without driving herself completely insane.

There are a few tactics that she can use to try and keep herself on a comfortable footing but you can only use humour or change the topic so many times in a conversation and it is hard to keep Scribbs on topics that Ash feels comfortable with, the list of topics she no longer feels comfortable talking about with Scribbs is growing at such a rate that she needs a scientific calculator to even begin to estimate its length. The problems extend beyond the conversational though; when Scribbs got punched in the face by the woman who looked like a supply teacher it was very nearly impossible to stop herself from cradling Emma’s face and that is far from acceptable work place behaviour. In addition she has to curb her urge to defend Scribbs when the likes of Millicent Goodman talk down to her, it is one thing for her to poke fun at Scribbs but it is completely unacceptable for anybody else to do so. She is not sure what the definition of love is but she is fairly sure that when you go from thinking it is juvenile for Scribbs to act out crime scenes with toys to just thinking that it is quintessentially Scribbs and therefore completely adorable, you definitely cross the boundary and enter love territory. 

She didn’t want to pay heed to Millicent’s recommendation that she should share the cake with someone that she loves but she has to admit that she left the cake out for Scribbs and that it annoys her that Sullivan just waltzes up and takes a bite. She doesn’t know what she can do about it, she can’t really tell him to put the cake down because she has this crazy belief that if Scribbs takes a bite of it she will magically fall in love with her and they will be together forever and she also can’t help thinking that the fact that he ate the cake instead of Scribbs is meant to be some sort of sign. Scribbs may not have taken the cake but Scribbs is sitting next to her on the couch while they talk about Sullivan’s fantasy wedding, something that can now be added to the list of things that she isn’t really comfortable with but at least it is helping distract her from the fact that in this relaxed environment the temptation to lean over and kiss Scribbs is almost irresistible. She is clearly distracted because she opens the door to let Scribbs list her wedding songs, the emotional equivalent of stabbing herself in the eye with a pin. She desperately tries to steer the conversation away from the topic and even though landing on male escorts is probably not the wisest decision that she has ever made it would be even more unwise to let Scribbs know that, “That so better be your cab” is code for, “I only want you talk about wedding songs if you are thinking of marrying me.” It is also better if Scribbs doesn’t learn that, “Forget love and marriage, from now on male prostitutes all the way” actually means, “I want to hold you for days and if I can’t have that, this is what I will be reduced to.”

It is hard to face Sullivan at work after he witnessed her little outburst but that is only because she doesn’t want him to think less of her professionally, on the personal level it is much more painful that Scribbs was there to witness her humiliation. More unsettling than either of those things is the fact that PI describes her as the, “Dark, intense but ever so slightly neurotic one,” forcing her to wonder if the entire world, with the notable exception of Scribbs, is capable of looking straight into her soul.

When the case is over she swears she is off love forever, it is becoming apparent to her that love doesn’t breed anything other than pain and death and while she may not have found herself with a knife sticking out her back she has been subjected to her share of pain. She decides that the much more sensible course of action would be continue to let the world think that she is harbouring a huge crush on her unobtainable boss in order to protect herself from further pain and suffering.

Almost as soon as she decides to commit to her plan Scribbs complicates matters by alerting her to the fact that Sullivan has fallen in love with a car rather than a bimbo who would get married on the beach to the sound of a steel drum band. Learning that a barrier that had been in the way of a potential relationship with him has been removed almost gives her a panic attack; she can’t pretend to admire him from a distance if there are no actual impediments to them getting together. She uses work as an excuse to not get in the car with him and hopes that it seems a robust enough reason to an outsider because to her it seems as flimsy and as transparent as cellophane. There is no way that she could possibly drive off with him, not with Scribbs standing there watching, even if she does almost reconsider her decision when Sullivan offers to take Scribbs for a spin instead. This was not a development that she had anticipated and she is none too subtle in conveying to Scribbs that she is not to get into the car.

Scribbs complies, “Anyway I look silly in a sarong.”

“Especially one wrapped around your neck. Just kidding.” She is grateful for the return to light hearted banter and she can only hope that that the exchange will fuel Scribbs’ suspicion that she wants Sullivan and that Scribbs will dutifully spread the information to all and sundry.

“Me too, I look great in a sarong.” 

That is something that she simply can not think about, not unless she is in spitting distance of a coronary care unit and she forces her thoughts to return to Sullivan. She reflects on his Jazzy T impersonation and his delivery of the line, “Two people so right for each other they knew it before they even met,” and she has to admit that in certain lights he does seen perfect. On paper he is everything that she wants in a prospective partner and even when she includes the fact that he is her superior officer his score on her detailed list of desirable characteristics for potential suitors is higher than that of anyone she has ever dated. His raw percentages are so high that it is almost frightening. He should be _the one_ and he would be except for one small fact – he is not Scribbs.


End file.
